I sometimes still have trouble letting people know about Joshua. I want people to know about him and I want them to know that he is a real person! I just sometimes get anxiety over the whole thing.
Last Sunday we gave talks at church and I thought long and hard whether or not I should say something about Joshua. I recently brought him up in a Sunday School lesson I taught, so there was already a good handful of the adults that knew about him. I definitely didn't want people to think I'm ashamed of him, or fear talking about him, so I decided to go ahead and "introduce Joshua" to the entire congregation.
I started my talk and said I was going to share a brief introduction to those that don't know us. I shared how Salesi and I met and then said, "And last year we were blessed with a beautiful baby boy named Joshua. Joshua, however, decided that he had better things to do and skipped out a little early on this life...So he is now in heaven waiting for us...But he is a part of our family, so I definitely don't want to leave him out of the story." (I also then said if there's anything else they want to know about us they can come up and ask.)
Right after I brought up Joshua, I felt like it put a slight damper on my talk. I mean, how else do you tell people that you have a son but that he already died? I know the rest of my talk was good and everyone said they felt the spirit very strong, so I guess I shouldn't worry about it. There was a couple of older women who came up to me afterwards to ask about Joshua, and one of them told me that her daughter died of SIDS when she was a baby and would be 26 in November. That is one of the reasons I like bringing him up. I like finding other people who have also lost children.
Later at home I asked Salesi what he thought about me telling people about Joshua. He said, "It was good but you stole my line". Okay, so I did steal his line... "Skipping out on Earth early... Having better things to do"... It makes something so dark seem like no big deal so I used it. (I didn't want to scare all the kids.)