November 9, 2011

I Lost My Child Today

Exactly 1 year ago... just minutes before we unplugged all of the machines. Not exactly one of my brighter days.



I Lost My Child Today

I lost my child today.
People came to weep and cry,
As I just sat and stared dry eyed.
They struggled to find words to say,
To try and make the pain go away.
I walked the floor in disbelief,
I lost my child today
  
I lost my child last month.
Most of the people went away.
Some still call and some still stay.
I wait to wake up from this dream,
This can't be real--I want to scream.
Yet everything is locked inside,
God, help me, I want to cry.
I lost my child last month.

I lost my child last year.
Now people who had come, have gone.
I sit and struggle all day long,
To bear the pain so deep inside.
And now my friends just question, Why?
Why does this mother not move on?
Just sits and sings the same old song.
Good heavens, it has been so long.
I lost my child last year.

Time has not moved on for me.
The numbness it has disappeared.
My eyes have now cried many tears.
I see the look upon your face,
"She must move on and leave this place."
Yet I am trapped right here in time.
The songs the same, as is the rhyme,
I lost my child......Today.
-Netta Wilson

9 comments:

  1. I pray that you are doing ok today, and that God is with you and your husband. I think about you often, and wish I could come and visit you. You are a true inspiration to me on how you survived or should I say thrived through this. Joshua, I bet, looks down on you and your husband everyday and is proud to know that you are his parents. GREAT BIG HUGS to you!!

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  2. Been thinking about you and Joshua all day!

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  3. I can't imagine the pain. I've never met you- and even though I've read all of your posts, I don't know what to say...except that I am here and thinking of and praying for you. I can tell how loved Joshua is and what you have to go through breaks my heart. You are loved too.

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  4. I am so sorry...this day is a hard one. So many reminders :( Definitely thinking of you!!

    LOVED that poem, might steal it from you. Very true words.

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  5. Sending you a hug. My heart aches for you.

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  6. I'm so sorry. The year mark is so hard. Thinking of you and sending lots of love your way.

    Love Ya,
    Jen

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  7. Thank you for commenting on my blog. I am so sorry for your loss as well. What a beautiful boy. Thanks for sharing your story, the good and the bad.

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  8. I really cant imagine hitting those year marks. I think you are so amazing! Thinking of you!! :)

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I have never deleted anyone's comment. (Not even the mean ones from my sisters.)