I miss him...
When I listen to a love song.
When I watch a sad movie.
When I see other babies, and now toddlers, and well...pretty much any children.
When I see his picture.
When I play the piano.
When I go to church. (This is a hard one.)
When I'm in love with my husband. (This might sound weird, but I didn't want to put "when I love my husband" because then it sounds like there are times when I don't love him--which may or may not be true--but as far as the love thing goes...I think all you BLM's know what I'm talking about.)
When I go on walks. (Now an everyday occurrence in my life...maybe...)
When I do genealogy work. (Okay, so besides scrap booking and journal writing--ya know, my own personal genealogy work--I just barely started indexing, but hey--I gotta start somewhere.)
When I see a beautiful painting. (Or pretty much anything beautiful.)
When I go to the temple. (I always pray that I will see him there because I'd much rather see him there than in my home...that would just freak me out.)
March 9, 2012
March 7, 2012
March 3, 2012
It's still hard...
Getting on Facebook to find someone who had a baby around Joshua's birthday, now announce they are pregnant with their 2nd baby.
Looking at pictures of Joshua at home--healthy--and trying to figure out exactly what went wrong, and WHEN did it go wrong?
Telling people we don't have any kids and hearing them say it's now probably a good time to start, since we've been married 4 years.
Never knowing what Joshua would look like and sound like right now, today.
Telling people about Joshua, but then having them not ask any questions about him, like--"what was his name, and what was he like"--Basically acting like he wasn't a real person.
(On a side note--Salesi told me that I say the word "basically" WAY too much. Can you count how many times I said it on here?)