August 15, 2012

Something In My Eye

Something is in my eye. No. Really. Or maybe not. I'm feeling a little bit emotional right now. One part happy and one part sad. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. 

I'm feeling like a proud mother who doesn't have to wonder whether or not their child is behaving because I know without a doubt that my child is practically perfect in every way.

I'm feeling anxious and excited for the future knowing that one day we will have more children but nervous that the same thing or worse could happen again.

I'm feeling in awe of the marvelous plan that God created knowing that this Earthly life is but a second.  

I'm feeling distinguished and exclusive that I might know just a little more about life after death only because I ponder about it way more than the average man.

I'm feeling like a failure knowing that God expects more of me and hoping I will be worthy to obtain a son like Joshua. 

I haven't cried in a while. I think I'm missing my baby right now. Just a little. 

4 comments:

  1. SO, so sorry...I think of you often and wish the best for you in this terribly hard situation.
    -A stranger in TX

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  2. I miss talking to you. We need another good long email. Haha I have a bunch of ?'s for you, and wonder what you are up to lately. It is like if it has been a while since you have had a good cry it is just warranted. Hh?

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  3. That is exactly how I am. I can go days without crying (sometimes feel guilty) and then I exploded. Thinking of you and so excited to see you post again!

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  4. I love you so much Kaci! Hope you know I think about you, salesi, and joshua all the time. And I'm always praying for you. Hope we can get together again soon.

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I have never deleted anyone's comment. (Not even the mean ones from my sisters.)