January 15, 2012

Done With Kids

Sometimes I feel like we are done having kids. It's as if we already raised our kids and now it's back to just the two of us doing our own thing because our kids have moved out of the house. Weird. Or, maybe I don't want to think about having kids right now because I'm finally enjoying my life just a little.

Well I can't do anything anyway until I have a followup appointment with my Pulmonologist about my Valley Fever blood test. Weird again. He wanted me to wait to get pregnant until he knew that my Valley Fever status hadn't changed in 3 months. (Man, I sure am personal on this blog.)

I'm still not even sure about the whole kid thing. (I can think of a million excuses as to why I would be a bad candidate to bearing and raising children, by the way.) Why is it when you want kids you can't have them? And when you don't want kids it's as if you know you should have them?

3 comments:

  1. This is so true. You are at the part where you feel safe and it is scary moving forward because it might not work or it might bring greater heartache. There is a blog post I saved from awhile ago of a woman that went through a failed placement and then how she came to the conclusion to live childfree. It is a great read from another LDS person.

    http://because-i-cant-have-babies.blogspot.com/2011/06/time-to-let-go.html#comment-form

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  2. Oh this is so my life. Back and forth back and forth about something I don't even feel like I have a choice in. Grr. I'm thinking about you. :)

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  3. You have had your heart ripped out...being a mom is scary enough but once you have lost a child, no matter what the circumstances are...it is going to make you question and think twice about doing it again.

    I am thinking of you too, glad to see you posting again!!

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I have never deleted anyone's comment. (Not even the mean ones from my sisters.)