August 11, 2011

Too Big Of Deal

By Kaci Goodrich Uipi

Maybe this death thing is highly overrated. Maybe I've been making too big of deal over it. I mean, why should it bother me so much that my son is in a beautiful, peaceful and joyful paradise, free from pain and woes? Why should his passing cause so much sorrow to my soul and pain in my stomach?

Everyone has to die at some point or another--but for some reason, the actuality of this ordeal continues to create tears.

I smile when I see his picture--he was such a beautiful baby. I even express signs of laughter when I reminisce over his personality. Nonetheless, if I ponder on these happy recollections a little too long--the story evolves--and has the same, unfortunate ending.

The conclusion is simple: It's sad. Joshua's death is a sad, tragic story. It might not be so heartbreaking to others, or even understood in the smallest degree--but it's not something easily imaginable--until that is--it happens to you.

Misconception of the ungrieving world: Okay, so I'm not saying that it isn't getting easier for me. However--there will always be sad moments, shedding of tears, yada yada... Let's face it, though--as of now, my story doesn't exactly have a happy ending.


  1. Funny you should write this because last night I was thinking about Joshua, about what a cute baby he was and then I started thinking about how his birthday will be soon and then I started crying for like 15 minutes about it, it just came from out of nowhere. (That's when I texted you. I know you hate it when I call you upset about Joshua.) The whole thing just made me so sad. Kaci, you're not making too big of a deal. Joshua's death is awful. It is unbelievably awful.

  2. It never will go away. My sweet friend and cousin by marriage felt the grief return in full force when she realized her first baby boy would have started school this year. And she got to see all the moms on facebook rant and rave and post cheesy pictures of their kids on the first day of school. Talk about a slap in the face.
    She has healthy twins who are almost two, a boy an a girl, and another healthy baby boy on the way. Life goes on. But this never goes away.


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