July 21, 2011

Gag Me With A Spoon

By Kaci Goodrich Uipi

I don't have many friends. Shocking, right? One of the toughest things for me to do right now is to be happy for somebody else. I mean, my life sucks, so why shouldn't everyone else's?

I get on Facebook and I see pictures of people's sewing projects. Yuck. Gag me with a spoon. I see conversations about activities to which I'm not invited. Gross. And here comes the worse one of all--baby pictures. Disgusting. I mean, I know I posted baby pictures of Joshua on FB, but that was after he passed away. Yes, I'm sure that I myself, will want to show the world pictures of my next adorable baby, but for now, it would be nice if people kept their happy lives to themselves.

Call me what you like--grumpy, grouchy or the grinch. Actually--it's a Ms. Grinch to you.

8 comments:

  1. What am I??? Chopped liver?? We need to go for a walk- uck- too hot--we need to go out for ice cream!

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  2. YES!! Kaci, seriously, your posts are incredible because they're exactly how I feel! I say that every time, but I can't help it. So true. I get so sick of seeing everyone's perfect little lives that I just want to scream like an orc and throw something.
    I know everyone's lives aren't perfect. Bret reminds me of that every time I try to whine about it. But it seems like they are. And sometimes that's all that matters to me, even though I know it shouldn't.

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  3. I'm going to tell you a secret. Those pictures you see on FB, are what people want you to see. They want you to think their lives are perfect, and, sadly, no one's life is.

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  4. I have a question - when does it stop bothering you to see pictures of people's kids? You always talk about babies bothering you. Are you okay with a kid when they are a year old? 18 months? What is your cut off?

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  5. I undersand you Kaci, 100%. I've been there. I remember not long after Kamber died someone handing me a baby. Though Kamber was 2 1/2 when she died it was just plain hard regardless if it was a baby or a child closer to Kamber's age. Now three years later those feelings have passed, but every once in a while if a see a little girl that reminds me of Kamber I have to get away.

    Just wanted to say Hi and that I think of you often.

    Love,
    Jen

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  6. Just a stranger, but no stranger to grief. I struggle with this. Since you have a link to the LDS church, I assume this is your religious affiliation. We do not go to church on Fast Sunday. It is too hard for both of us. Hearing about the "miracles" people testify of about. It's grating. It is hard to feel these things, isn't it? I want to be happy for others, and believe that because of faith and righteousness good things happen. But then it makes me feel unfaithful and unrighteous. :( I still have a difficult time seeing babies - ESPECIALLY sleeping babies. And I also struggle with kids who are four and kids who are ten (the ages my kids would be now). I hope you take Heather up on that ice cream trip. ;)

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  7. I loved this post! I literally JUST deleted my facebook for the same reason. I couldn't deal with the anxiety it gave me. Hopefully one day I'll be able to be happy for others but for now I just feel bad for myself. :)

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  8. I could never get rid of my facebook addiction lol. I see it differently though, I know how often I myself have been frustrated with children and while I may think to myself "at least you have a living toddler to do that or etc" I know that everyone has to complain. I've gone thru loss and still complain about my child, its normal.
    I also love the little bit of remembrance that facebook gives you of old status's, statuses from before. Yes they make me sad but they make me remember and thats what I love the most.
    Its ok to be jealous and hateful. From one honest mom to another its normal, its normal for us to wish we could say truthfully that I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy but hell I wouldve wished it on my best friend if it brought my child back to me. Let me be the one that comforts you.

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I have never deleted anyone's comment. (Not even the mean ones from my sisters.)