May 20, 2011

I Can Only Imagine

By Kaci Goodrich Uipi

When I leave this life, I will get to be re-united with my son. I can only imagine what it will be like...

It won't take long for us to get caught up on the time we spent apart. I will start telling him about all the great things he "missed" on Earth, and he will quickly remind me that he was there the entire time, watching and protecting us.

He will give me a tour of the new place, showing me all the tricks and shortcuts. He will proudly introduce me to all of his converts and new friends. Then he will take me around to meet all of our ancestors for whom I helped do temple work.

We will talk about Earth like we now talk about our missions, remembering all the good and the bad, the funny and the sad. But instead of crying over all the sad moments, we will laugh with no worries, knowing that all things have been made fair. We will see the world as God does--having no end, nor beginning.

I will say, "Wow! I can't believe how much I cried over you, and you really were okay this entire time!" He will reply, "Mom, I told you I was!"


  1. What a great eternal perspective! I agree wholeheartedly. Keep up the good thoughts!

  2. Kaci, I love this! It makes me so happy to think about that glorious day when i'll be with my Ella again and you'll be with your Joshua. I agree wholeheartedly and it brings such a measure of comfort and anticipation.

  3. Kaci, I just read your comment to Molly's post. I admire your complete honesty and perspective. You and Molly share a grief I can't imagine. I lost a child, but the death preceeded the birth, so it's not quite the same, but for me, being a mother without a child is devastating, as it is for you, though infinitely harder for you, having known your child in this life. My heart goes out to you. I've never learned anything that was a universal cure for broken hearted parents who have lost a child. I only know that you will walk a path unique to you, and only you will truly understand. I just want to say that I understand your feelings towards mothers with children, and I'm sorry your 'friend' said such an insensitive thing to you. Molly has been an inspiration to me, and many others, and I hope her experiences will somehow lighten your burden. I shall keep you in my prayers!!!

  4. I really loved your "conversation" with Joshua at the end. Just two weeks ago, my sister-in-law joined this crappy club (which by the way, I've been using that term lately), and all of our emotions came flooding back. I've thought a lot about you. My husband was asked to speak at the graveside, and one of the things he said reminds of your thoughts. He said to his sister and her husband, "Sometimes you may find yourselves somewhere and a sudden rush of emotions will overwhelm you. It's at those times that your boys may be trying to call out just to say, 'I love you Mom and Dad.' Those moments can be hard. They can also be very sweet. Learn to cherish those moments and the emotions they bring back."

    Sorry for the novel, but I've just been thinking about the people I know who are Angel Mommas lately.

  5. So, you might not see this, but a friend of mine posted this on FB (your favorite!):
    "They say that time in Heaven is compared to 'the blink of an eye' for us on this earth. Sometimes it helps me to think of my child running ahead of me through a beautiful field of wildfowers and butterflies; so happy and completely caught up in what she is doing that when she looks behind her, I'll already be there."
    Author Unkown
    It's a little hokey but it's nice to think about. Of course Joshua is busy working but it won't seem very long for him at all. Anyway, sorry if this is lame...


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