April 28, 2011

How Different My Life Is Now

By Kaci Goodrich Uipi

I don't think of Joshua much as being a little baby, because I know right now he is a mature spirit. Nevertheless, he will always me my baby, and I do occasionally wonder what it would be like if he was still here with me. Today, he would be almost 7 months old. He would be crawling, getting into things, and probably teething.

I sometimes forget that if he hadn't died, my life would be oh so different. Meaning, having had a baby die, is quite contrary to not having had a baby at all. Sometimes I forget this, and when I'm reminded of it, it makes me sad.

The other day I thought about my Summer plans, and what I would do differently if Joshua was still here. I tried to figure out who would babysit him so I could go to all of my necessary appointments. Then I sadly realized, that if he was still here, I wouldn't be going to all of those appointments.

I wouldn't be going to immunodeficiency conferences, and I certainly wouldn't be going to so many counseling sessions either.

That harsh reality is painful at times. However, I need to remember that Joshua came and went to make me a better person. The way my life is now, is the way it's supposed to be. There are no such things as accidents. God doesn't work that way.

1 comment:

  1. I like this post. I agree that there are no accidents and obviously that there are reasons things happen. We don't always know why at the time, but there are things we are supposed to learn here on Earth.

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